Destruction of the masses

"You are more" - Tenth Avenue North

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are, 
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

This song popped up on my play list this evening and I sat listening to the lyrics. "You are more than the choices that you've made" resonates with many. Personally, it's a whisper into a past I would so much rather forget. I am more than the mistakes I've made...more than the tears I've cried, more than the shame I fight so hard to hide. I hoped that this move would give me a new start. A place to break free from the shame I once hid. Isn't that what we all want? To know who we are and to truly believe we have been remade new. How often to we really believe this though? I have already met so many students that are hiding unimaginable shame and guilt. Maybe it comes from living in the "Bible Belt" but what I see is petty destruction. These girls would rather tear each other apart than admit they bear the same shame. I have always prayed God would allow the pains of my mistakes to encourage others. If my wounds could save one girl from the destruction I felt would it not be worth it? If Jesus' sacrificed only saved one soul, would it still be worth it? I thought coming here would give me the chance to break free from what was holding me back but instead I only witness destruction and can do nothing but watch. Who would listen to the city girl from California?
(Written 11/2011)