I think I started to ramble...

Have you ever noticed that the more vulnerable you get the more you crave growth? The more I lock myself up and refuse to let people in the more I am determined to stay exactly where I am. Which, of course, isn't what God desires for us. He loves us enough that He wants to grow us. But growing is so painful sometimes!! I'm learning to be vulnerable to those around me. It isn't easy. In fact, I flippin hate it! Especially when it comes to Christians. Even though I am one...and I deeply long for my friends to trust me. It just isn't that way for myself. Of course I guess that does have something to do with my experience of literally being asked to LEAVE the church I grew up in. (That's a blog for a WHOLE other day...) As God continues to break me of this fear and I begin to trust and open up to those around me I have been blessed with something so beautiful! Friendship. Love. Prayer. Pursuance. I literally had 2 friends persue me tonight until I relented with tears in my eyes. Letting go of that fear to be vulnerable in front of my friends has been painful and what I'm going through right now is painful but I can see the growth and that is so encouraging. To know that although I feel pain right now...I have hope! Not hope that I alone create and run out of but hope that comes from an all consuming, unrelenting, graceful, loving Heavenly Father. Where do you feel vulnerable? Do you hide it from everyone? Or have you learned to reaveal your heart to those closest to you? How beautiful our hearts become when we learn to share them with others! We're human, and so are our friends, so it goes without saying that you may and will probably get hurt at some point along the way. But its so so very worth it! If and when it comes to that point, God will guide you. He will heal any brokeness you have. There is nothing to big or small for His love. And because of that I can take a step out in faith and know that revealing my heart, being vulnerable to those around me and trusting them is far more valuable and worth while than staying locked up tight just in case I may get hurt.