How do you get to Georgia?

Well, I made it to Georgia! Sometimes I still have to remind myself that I'm not driving around California anymore. I see someone I think I know then realize I literally only know half a dozen people in this whole state. Sometimes that knowledge is overwhelming. And other times is exciting. Here's how I got here...in the middle of nowhere going to school to learn about Jesus.

A year ago I was sitting at work messing with an excel spreadsheet and I thought, "wow, I do not want to do this the rest of my life." So much of my early twenties was about surviving. In and out of hospitals, physical therapy and doctors offices, To be normal was my goal. I just wanted a normal boring everyday job. And I made it. The problem was I wasn't being challenged, moved or growing in any way. So, I don't want to sit at a desk answering phones and filling folders the rest of my life. What do I want to do? I had no idea where to start except to pray that exact question. "What do you want with my life, God?" What am I good at? What could I do where I would wake up every morning and not hate what I spend most of the day doing? I'm so impatient! I was ready for God to answer me that day. And when He did, I just became more obsessed. "What am I going to do?!!!!" On my right shoulder blade is a tattoo of the verse Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, through thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I memorized this verse a long time ago and it never ceases to pop up in almost any situation. The phrase "present your requests to God" suddenly meant something different than before. I could ASK God for something I wanted. Granted, this isn't like asking Santa for a pink pony (Because I NEVER did that...) but if there was something I truly desired I could ask for it. So I did. I wanted to go back to school. Full time. To spend my days learning, being challenged, thinking, studying, and ultimately being prepared for something He would call me to. So I prayed for school. I had no idea how it would work. School is expensive and full time would mean I wouldn't be able to hold the job I had (not that it was hard to let go of that!) But who am I to question God? Now, had I known just exactly I what I was asking for I NEVER would have uttered that prayer. It seemed easy enough to me? I was surrounded by supportive friends, family and a church that would encourage me as much as possible. What could go wrong? HA!

"What gives value to travel is fear. it is the fact that, a certain moment, when we are so far from our own country we are seized by a vague fear, and an instinctive desire to go back to the protection of old habits. This is the most obvious benefit of travel. At that moment we are feverish but also porous." Albert Camus.

I have felt this fear for almost a month straight now. My decision to ask to go back to school was made on a romanticized ideal of studying in a cozy library for hours in the afternoon and sitting before captivating professors all day. Instead God asked me to give up the comfort of my home base, to leave the protective fold of my wonderful friends and family and strike out to follow him. Oh how I can not imagine what when through the disciples minds when Jesus called to them "come follow me..." and they just did. I admire them in a whole different light. When Jesus said 6 months ago "come, follow me." I laughed. "Follow you where?! I'm right here!" Again He said, "come, follow me."
In college everyone asks the questions, "What is your name, where are you from and why are you here?" the moment they meet you. I could stop at where I'm from because California is a LONG ways away from Georgia and that seems to impress most of them here. But then they ask, "How in the world did you end up here?!" I'm still in awe of that very question. "What in the world am I doing here?!" Yesterday I walked out my back door only to watch a city cop shoot a pidgin from the window of his cruiser. When the bird finally fell to the ground he got out, picked it up and threw it in the trunk. Then drove off. (insert hillbilly music here.) "Seriously, God, what am I doing here?!" When fellow students ask how I got here my automatic response is "God has a sense of humor." Which seems fitting to me. Why else would a girl that loves big cities and despises anything relative to camping and outdoors end up at a college in the middle of Chattahoochee National Forest in Toccoa Falls, Georgia. I've already had to murder 3 crickets, 2 unidentified bugs and 1 centipede looking creature in my apartment. (a few of those were done in with a stiletto heel no less.)
Going back to school was an easy choice. When I prayed about it I knew God was saying yes. I also knew I had a heart for ministry. Specifically women's ministry. Now I had a plan. Find a college with a ministry degree. Toccoa Falls College. Ta-da. That was easy. Somehow, in the back of my mind I never felt God would actually follow through with this crazyness. Me, in school full time, in Georgia. HA! But I was willing to follow. Trusting God knew me, my heart and my fear of dirt and bugs. And follow was what I did. Follow and trust. I trusted God when my boss cut my job 6 weeks before I was ready to move out of state. Trusted when I couldn't find another job to fill the 6 weeks. Trusted when my bank account hit dangerous lows and I had the cost of driving across country to fund. Trusted when Cliff and I set off at 6am on August 8th to spend the next 4 days driving through more states than I had ever visited. I held on to that trust, even though I'm sure, more often than not, I had that deer in the headlights look on my face. Jack Mezirow called it "Disorienting dilemma". (Noted in Why Jesus Crossed The Road by Bruce Main). God's faithfulness was clear and bright in the past 8 weeks. As I prepared to move, as I set out on the road and as I pulled into my new home, and every day since then. It's been rough, and I think I've cried more in the past 2 weeks than I have in the past 2 years but to set out on an adventure with only you and God is something I never thought I'd have the courage to do. I had the option to back out. I still have that option. I could turn around and drive home whenever I'd like. I know that I would be welcomed back with open arms and as much love as I need. But I wouldn't just be giving up on myself or my dream I'd be giving up on God's path for me. I'd be giving up on the greatest adventure my little life has seen...yet.